Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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