he was CRYING into my vagina
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
