i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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