just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
