You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
soo... how was my night?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
