Cold hands, warm shart.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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