Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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