Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
