how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
