oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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