I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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