I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
