Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
