Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
