I only kidnapped one of them. chill
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
