i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
