i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
