..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
