She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
birth control should be required to get into college
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
