i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
