3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
