idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
