Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
