toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
The ass gains better be worth it
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