We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
