Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Alive.
So much puke
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
