I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
