I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Randomize
