omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
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