You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
