It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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