Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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