Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
