I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
