Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
