Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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