I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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