a queef is a wish your heart makes.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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