Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
