i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
