Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
