No awkward lesbian experiences without me
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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