Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
