college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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