hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
