I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
