Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize