she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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