Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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