OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
