My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
