If that was your dad, he is hot
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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