Having a random hookup so left but love u
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Randomize
