I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize