Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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